A Confession

It is said that confession is good for the soul. Well, I have a confession to make – I am happy! It may not be politically correct, trendy or cool to say such a thing,especially as it often seems like we live in a society of whiners and complainers, but it is the truth – I am happy.

Now, my happiness does not stem from the fact that everything is just “tickety-boo” or “perfecto” in my life. I still live with some level of pain and/or fatigue every day. But I am happy that most of the time I can work, volunteer and  and go on the nature walks that I love so much.

I still have the specter of fear raise it’s ugly little head every once in a while that my bladder cancer will return. But I am happy that I have been almost 3 years cancer-free and that most of the time, I don’t even think about it.

Working at my job causes my legs and feet to be VERY sore at the end of my shift. But I am happy that I have a job that I really enjoy, I work with a great bunch of gals, my employers are great, I get to wear nice clothes and I earn a bit of spending money.

Certain family situations are very hurtful and stressful but I am happy that I know that my mom and my two sons love me very much and that I now have a beautiful granddaughter to cuddle and love.

I don’t have my own home or a garden to putter in but I am happy that I have a nice apartment that we have made into a cosy retreat and two planters on my balcony filled with pretty flowers.

I was deeply wounded and went through hell when my former husband left me, not only alone but poor, but I am EXTREMELY happy that I now have a WONDERFUL husband.

I used to be somewhat fearful of God, but now I am happy that He is at the center of my life and that I feel comfortable sharing all my fears and my joys with Him.

As I am writing this, I notice that every place that I have written the word “happy”, I could also have used the word “grateful” or “thankful”. I believe that the more thankful and/or grateful you are, the happier you are. I have much for which to be grateful and thankful and thus I am very happy.

I pray that your life is filled with happiness too.

Blessings

 

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Dog-tired

Dog-tired, bone-weary, bushed, sapped, outta gas, all in – any and all of these terms would describe how I feel this afternoon. One of the health issues I battle is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention defines Chronic fatigue syndrome, or CFS, as “a debilitating and complex disorder characterized by profound fatigue that is not improved by bed rest and that may be worsened by physical or mental activity. Symptoms affect several body systems and may include weakness, muscle pain, impaired memory and/or mental concentration, and insomnia, which can result in reduced participation in daily activities.” Yup – that just about covers it.

Sometimes it creeps up on me slowly, while at other times, it jumps on me suddenly. It is frustrating as sometimes I can pinpoint a trigger but at other times, it seems to have come out of nowhere. It can definitely make daily life a challenge. Sometimes, I just have to keep on slogging and push through it. At other times, I have to wave the white flag, call a truce, and go into “veg” mode and become a couch potato.

During my couch potato times, I am very blessed to have a husband who is understanding and compassionate. But even better than that, I have a merciful and gracious Heavenly Father that I can turn to for help.

Isa 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard, that the everlasting God, Jehovah, the Creator of the ends of the earth, does not grow weak nor weary? He gives power to the weary; and to him with no vigor; He increases strength. Even the young shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall; but those who wait on Jehovah shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

I also have a  Saviour, Jesus Christ, who knows only too well what it is like to be bone-weary.

Heb 4:15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted just as we are, yet without sin.

Jesus has compassion for those who are weary in body, mind and spirit.

Mat 9:36 But seeing the crowds, He was moved with compassion on them, because they were tired and scattered like sheep having no shepherd.

Jesus spreads his arms of love and invites us to enter into his rest.

Mat 11:28,29 Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke on you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest to your souls.

Heb 4:9 So then there remains a rest to the people of God.

Heb 4:11 Therefore let us labor to enter into that rest.

I am entering into that rest now. Just call me Mrs. Potato Couch Head. ZZZZzzzz

 

Today

Today, both my husband and I woke up with tension headaches.

Today, we both felt anxious and had jittery tummies.

Today, we had to drive 1 1/2 hours to court to meet with lawyers to discuss an ongoing family legal issue that has been dragging on (and 0n).

Today, I prayed, a lot, both in my understanding and in the spirit (in tongues).

1Co 14:15  What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also:

 

 

Today, I asked my Heavenly Father for wisdom and He gave it.

Jas 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Today, I asked for God’s spirit of peace, and He sent it.

Luk 1:78 Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us,
Luk 1:79 To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.

Php 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Today, I asked for an understanding and wise judge, and one was supplied.

Joh 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

Today, although I prayed for but did not receive a final resolution as of yet, I was given hope for the future and yet another chance to develop patience.

Rom 5:4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
Rom 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Today, I approached the throne of grace and received God’s matchless grace and mercy.

Heb 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Today, I needed God. Today He heard my prayers. Today, He gave me what I needed.

I will love God, today, and forever.

I pray that you will find God, today. Just reach out to Him. He is willing, ready and able to supply all your needs.

 

Act 26:29 And Paul said, It is my prayer to God that, in little or great measure, not only you, but all those hearing me today might be even as I am,

Act 20:32 And now, brothers, I commend you to God, and to the Word of His grace, which is able to build you up and to give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified.

Blessings