When Those You Love The Most, Hurt You The Most

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” 
― E.A. BucchianeriBrushstrokes of a Gadfly,


The above quote sounds very depressing and hopeless, doesn’t it? It is difficult to live in this broken world without being hurt. I think that it is even more difficult when you have been hurt by someone you love. Being hurt like that can leave you feeling like the following lyrics by Nazareth:

Love hurts
Love scars
Love wounds and marks
Any heart not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain
Love hurts
Ooh love hurts

In my life, a number of my loved ones have hurt me in that way. Each time has left me reeling and feeling shocked, betrayed, bruised, and sick physically, mentally and emotionally. Such times as these are very challenging for me as I already have to deal with daily chronic pain and fatigue.

I am a very emotional person and I love big and feel much. So when someone I love hurts me, I hurt big and feel much.

How I deal with such circumstances is not only a physical. mental and emotional challenge, it can also be a big spiritual challenge.

As a Christian, how am I to deal with those who have hurt me? First of all, I really shouldn’t be surprised that loved ones could/would hurt me. The enemy, Satan, has turned loved ones against one other since the Garden of Eden – Adam blamed Eve; Cain killed his brother Abel; Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. Satan uses people to hurt people all the time. The Bible even warns us that family members will turn against one another:

 Luk 12:53 They will be at war, the father against his son, and the son against his father; mother against daughter, and daughter against mother; mother-in-law against daughter-in-law, and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law. 

So when my loved ones hurt me, I must remember who it is that is actually orchestrating that situation. I try to remember what Jesus said when he was crucified by some of the very people he had come to heal and deliver:

Luk 23:34 And Jesus said, Father, let them have forgiveness, for they have no knowledge of what they are doing.

I must also remember that God loved me, even when I was a sinner. He loved me enough to sacrifice his son Jesus, and Jesus loved me enough to die for me.

Rom 5:8 But God has made clear his love to us, in that, when we were still sinners, Christ gave his life for us.

God’s Word tells us how we are to treat those who sin against us and hurt us.

Mat 5:44 But I say to you, Have love for those who are against you, and make prayer for those who are cruel to you;
Mat 5:45 So that you may be the sons of your Father in heaven;

Luk 6:27 But I say to you who give ear to me, Have love for those who are against you, do good to those who have hate for you,
Luk 6:28 Give blessing to those who give you curses, say prayers for those who are cruel to you.

Mat 18:21 Then Peter came and said to him, Lord, what number of times may my brother do wrong against me, and I give him forgiveness? till seven times?
Mat 18:22 Jesus says to him, I say not to you, Till seven times; but, Till seventy times seven.

Luk 17:3 Give attention to yourselves: if your brother does wrong, say a sharp word to him; and if he has sorrow for his sin, let him have forgiveness.
Luk 17:4 And if he does you wrong seven times in a day, and seven times comes to you and says, I have regret for what I have done; let him have forgiveness.

I know that I have also been guilty of hurting loved ones and for those times I am truly sorry. But, since I am a Christian, I have faith through Jesus, that God has forgiven me my sins. And since I have been forgiven, I must in turn forgive others and continue to love them.

Col 3:12 As saints of God, then, holy and dearly loved, let your behaviour be marked by pity and mercy, kind feeling, a low opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, and a power of undergoing all things;
Col 3:13 Being gentle to one another and having forgiveness for one another, if anyone has done wrong to his brother, even as the Lord had forgiveness for you:
Col 3:14 And more than all, have love; the only way in which you may be completely joined together.