Queen of Denial

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Cleopatra has often been called the “Queen of the Nile”. While I have never met her (I’m not that old – yet) I have certainly met a number of Queens of “Denial”.

I have worked in fashion retail for several years and have gotten pretty good at estimating a person’s clothing size so I am often surprised and bemused when a customer states that she is a smaller size.

We live in an insane age of “size 0 (zero)”. I don’t know about modern math but I was always taught that “zero” equals nothing, zip, zilch, nada – a big, fat nothingness. So it stands to reason that it should be impossible to be a size 0. But somehow, the fashion industry has managed to defeat the laws of math and come up with the impossible – a size 0.

No healthy woman is a size zero, but if clothing sizes start at such a minimalist number, who wants to buy clothes that say size 12, 14, 16 or more? It’s as if women think that the size number on the clothing is somehow mysteriously visible to all and sundry.

It is well known in the fashion retail industry that there is no standardized sizing for women’s clothing. That is why you have to try on 15 different pairs of jeans before you can find just one that fits! There’s just no such animal as an intercontinental size 12.

Most women know this lamentable fact about clothing, yet for some reason, some women get “stuck” on (and in) a certain size number. They insist that they are a certain size and will not entertain the idea that they may have to try on a larger size.

Personally, while I am not best pleased with my current size and shape, I am very much aware of the reality of it. Yes, I could still fit into my wedding dress – if I only wanted it to cover one leg! No amount of wishful thinking accompanied by generous amounts of squeezing, smushing, pushing, cramming, jamming, sucking in, grunting and groaning is ever going to make me fit into the clothes I wore in my slimmer and trimmer days.

Yet, I get customers who will try to do just that, even though fleshy parts are spilling, oozing, flowing, and popping out, over and through the clothing, they will continue to insist that they are a particular size and will refuse to try on a larger size.

When it comes to clothing sizes, we women can certainly be “Queens of Denial”.

Denial is not limited to just women and their clothes size. To be in denial basically means to deny the truth. Denial has been around for a long time, every since that old troublemaker, the devil, chose to deny the truth of his inequality with God. He chose to deny God’s supremecy over him.

Isa 14:12 How you are fallen from the heavens, O shining star, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who weakened the nations!
Isa 14:13 For you have said in your heart, I will go up to the heavens, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north.
Isa 14:14 I will go up above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the Most High.

God is truth.

Joh 14:6 Jesus said to him, I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father but by Me.
Joh 14:7 If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also. And from now on you know Him and have seen Him.

Heb 6:18 so that by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie,

Tit 1:2 on hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised before the eternal times,

To deny God is to deny truth, and to deny truth is to deny God. Denying truth is an act of rebellion against truth.

Tit 1:15 To the pure all things are pure. But to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure, but even their mind and conscience is defiled.
Tit 1:16 They profess that they know God, but in their works they deny Him, being abominable and disobedient and reprobate to every good work.

Denying God, and His son Jesus, has earthly and eternal consequences.

Mat 10:33 But whoever shall deny Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father in Heaven.

Mat 10:34 Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth. I did not come to send peace, but a sword.

2Ti 2:12 If we suffer, we shall also reign with Him. If we deny Him, He also will deny us.

Being a King or Queen of Denial of the truth of God and Jesus only hurts oneself and is an exercise in futility since in the end, all people will acknowledge God.

Isa 45:21 Declare and bring near; yea, let them take counsel together. Who has declared this of old? Who has told it from then? Is it not I, Jehovah? And there is no other God besides Me; a just God and a Savior; there is none besides Me.
Isa 45:22 Turn to Me, and be saved, all the ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other.
Isa 45:23 I have sworn by Myself, the word has gone out of My mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, that to Me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear.

Unfortunately, waiting until the end will be too late.

Rev 20:12 And I saw the dead, the small and the great, stand before God. And books were opened, and another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

Rev 20:15 And if anyone was not found having been written in the Book of Life, he was cast into the Lake of Fire.

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Rom 1:18 For the wrath of God is revealed from Heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness,

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Family

Caricatures Faces Funny Family Image

We have recently experienced yet another family upheaval. And once again I am pondering the meaning of the term “family”. Is family supposed to be based solely on genetic connections? Does the multiple combinations of combined and shared DNA define what a family is? Does family also include those who, by choice and by the lawful joining of two people thus create an even bigger family? Or is a family simply those people in your life who, regardless of genetics or lawful joining, are those people who love, support, comfort and encourage you?

In my own life experience, my unit of family made up of shared DNA, has shattered apart from a family of 5 to a family of 2. And has hard as I have tried to re-connect with my other DNA partners, they have not reached out to make the re-connection.

My unit of family created by the lawful joining of my first husband and myself grew to contain 2 more units of shared DNA family members. That family also shattered apart to become 3 distinct family units of their own, only one of which has any real connection to this parental DNA unit.

I am very blessed to still have a very strong bond with my DNA mom, 1 son, and granddaughter. 🙂

I was also very blessed to have a second chance at becoming another family unit by the lawful joining of myself to a wonderul new hubby. By osmosis, I have been included into his DNA family units and enjoy a great relationship with my in-law “brothers and sisters”. These “in-law” family members have become much closer to me than my own DNA sharing sisters and father.

The VERY TRICKY part of this new family combination has been my hubby’s 2 DNA family units – known to me as “the step-kids”. This new type of family forces DNA sharers from one family to try to encorporate themselves, willingly or otherwise, into a new form of family unit.

For the past seven years I have worked very hard at not becoming the stereotypical “evil step-mother”. However, I regretfully confess that the evil step-mother may have come out for a wild ride recently. The “good” (ahem) stepmother had the straw that broke the camel’s back placed upon her already burdened shoulders and she had had enough of watching her beloved hubby being taken for granted and misused by his DNA units. So she spoke what she felt was the truth – and the truth was not well received – not well at all.

This whole dysfunctional family thing just keeps making me wonder what, exactly, is family supposed to be? And if the traditional sense of family is no longer functioning, is it okay to walk away from it and find your loving family with other people, whether or not they are genetically or lawfully joined to you?

Webster’s 1829 Dictionary gives the following definitions of “family”:

1. The collective body of persons who live in one house and under one head or manager; a household, including parents, children and servants, and as the case may be, lodgers or boarders.

2. Those who descend from one common progenitor; a tribe or race; kindred; lineage. Thus the Israelites were a branch of the family of Abraham; and the descendants of Reuben, of Manasseh, &c., were called their families. The whole human race are the family of Adam, the human family.

3. Course of descent; genealogy; line of ancestors.

Since I believe that the institue of family was created by God, I am going to find out what He says about family in His Word.

The word in the Old Testament that has been translated to “family” is the Hebrew word “mishpâchâh”;
(mish-paw-khaw’) : a family, that is, circle of relatives; and by extension, a tribe or people.

In the New Testament, the Greek word “patria” (pat-ree-ah’) means: paternal descent, that is, (concretely) a group of families or a whole race (nation): – family, kindred, lineage.

Hmmmm –  after doing some research, my understanding of family has changed somewhat. I found it interesting to note that not once did I find a definition that actually states that a family is made up of people who love one another. According to Webster’s definition and the terms used in the Bible, family seems to simply mean humans who are connected through DNA and/or living arrangements.

Perhaps the misunderstanding of the term “family” is what causes so many problems? One assumes that to be part of a family means to be loved, yet so many of us know, unfortunately, that is not our reality. I think we believe that “family” automatically implies love, yet sharing DNA, or a lawful joining and/or a living arrangement does not guarantee love. In fact, it often inspires the opposite of love – hatred.

Since “family” seems to be a complex topic, I am going to do some more research and will continue sharing my thoughts in another post.

Blessings, and enjoy the following excerpt from “I’m My Own Grandpa” written by Moe Jaffe. 🙂

“I’m My Own Grandpa”

Now, many many years ago
When I was twenty three
I was married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be

This widow had a grown-up daughter
Had hair of red
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life
My daughter was my mother
‘Cause she was my father’s wife

To complicate the matters
Even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle
Though it made me very sad

For if he was my uncle
That also made him the brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother

I’m my own grandpa
I’m my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so
I’m my own grandpa

 

Person to Person

I thoughts that these were wise words in a short and to the point message.

Mitch Teemley

Helping Others

How often do we get stuck on numbers (I know I do), thinking that unless we can sweep across the land like good deed crop dusters, eradicating all pain and suffering (or ignorance, or violence, or?) there is no point in beginning? Mother Teresa began with one person. And then another, and then another. By the end of her life that one person had become thousands helping hundreds of thousands in 140 countries. And yet in every situation it came down to–and still does–one person helping another. Teresa of Calcutta never forgot that.

If our hearts are open, God will show us that person. And the next person. And the next…

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.” ~Luke 12:6

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A Good Man

Eph 5:25 Husbands, have love for your wives, even as Christ had love for the church, and gave himself for it; 

In my personal experience, it seems like this world has had far too few “good men”. However, today I get to celebrate the fact that God is a merciful and gracious God of second (and third, fourth, fifth….) chances because six years ago He gave to me that elusive creature, a good man.

Six years ago, on top of the bluff over-looking the sun setting on Lake Huron, I was blessed to marry Paul, the love of my life; my best friend; my soul mate; my kindred spirit; my steadying anchor. He truly is the one “whom my soul loves”.

Paul is a man of honour and integrity. He is compassionate and kind. He is understanding and patient with me and all my accompanying baggage of pain, fatigue, and mental health struggles. He is intelligent, very witty and extremely humourous. I swear I have WAY more laugh lines than frown lines because of him. He is very tender, loving and affectionate.

I am not sure what it is that I love most about him but I know that he has made me feel safe, secure, valued and treasured. This is very important to me because for most of my life, the important men in my life have left me feeling inadequate, insecure, rejected and unprotected.

While he is not perfect (who among us is?), my Paul truly is that wonderful rare creature – a good man.

Paul, “I will love you forever; I will like you for always. As long as I’m living, my “hubby” you’ll be”!

Happy Anniversary “Bestie”. 

 

Eph 5:28 Even so it is right for husbands to have love for their wives as for their bodies. He who has love for his wife has love for himself: 

When Healing Doesn’t Come

Rom 8:25 But if we have hope for that which we see not, then we will be able to go on waiting for it. (BBE)

As a former nurse, I have seen much suffering. As well my own sufferings (fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, arthritis, cancer, panic attacks), many of my loved ones also suffer. So the subject of healing is one that is near and dear to my heart.

While I love God and believe in His Word, there are a number of topics on which I am not quite clear, and healing is one of them. I have done extensive study on the subject and have put everything that I have learned into practice. I have watched Christian healing teaching videos over and over. I have read and re-read many books on the subject. I have rebuked symptoms and spoken healing scriptures over and over again. I have prayed in tongues and I have laid hands on the sick. I have believed for healing with everything that is within me.

So I must confess to some (ok – a lot) of bewilderment when healing does not manifest itself in either my own body or that of my loved ones.

When it came to the issue of my own healing – or NOT healing, as it were, I came to a place in my faith life wherein I had an important choice to make. I could either get angry and frustrated with God, which would damage my relationship with Him, or I could stop struggling and just accept what was (and is) and leave it in God’s hands. I confess that this is much harder for me to do when it is a dear loved one suffering – I feel so helpless.

My relationship with God is more important to me than my own healing, so I have chosen to try to be more aceepting and peaceful about my situation. I also try to remember a very wise statement my mother once made concerning her own struggle with suffering. She told me that she has chosen to believe that God’s Word is true so that when His Word says: “1Pe 2:24 He took our sins on himself, giving his body to be nailed on the tree, so that we, being dead to sin, might have a new life in righteousness, and by his wounds we have been made well.” (BBE) she believes that she is healed, even if it means that she won’t manifest it until Jesus comes again.

Rom 8:21 That all living things will be made free from the power of death and will have a part with the free children of God in glory.
Rom 8:22 For we are conscious that all living things are weeping and sorrowing in pain together till now.
Rom 8:23 And not only so, but we who have the first fruits of the Spirit, even we have sorrow in our minds, waiting for the time when we will take our place as sons, that is, the salvation of our bodies.

On my rough days, and when loved ones are suffering, I try to remind myself that the present suffering is nothing compared to the glory that awaits us in Heaven and that having patience and holding fast to faith is earning us great rewards and crowns of glory.

Rom 8:18 I am of the opinion that there is no comparison between the pain of this present time and the glory which we will see in the future. (BBE)

Rom 8:25 But if we have hope for that which we see not, then we will be able to go on waiting for it. (BBE)

Rev 2:10 Have no fear of the things which you will have to undergo:… Be true till death, and I will give you the crown of life. (BBE)

If you or a loved one are suffering and awaiting healing, I pray that God will fill you with faith, hope, comfort, and peace. I also pray for your healing and deliverance, in the name of Jesus.

Blessings

 

Mom’s Visit

My Mom came for a visit today. Neither one of us was feeling particularly energetic but as it was a beautiful day we decided to toddle around the arts and crafts show happening in our town square (really it’s more of an octagon).

We ended our time together relaxing in the living room while enjoying cool and sweet chai tea frappes. YUM!

Before Mom got into her car, she drew me into her arms and said, “let me enfold you in an embrace of great love and affection”. I thought that sounded so much more poetic than “give us a hug”.

I liked the saying so much that I just had to share it!

I think that is what God, through His son Jesus Christ, is saying to us – “Come to me my child, and let me enfold you in an embrace of great love and affection.”

Mar 10:15 Truly I say to you, Whoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter into it.
Mar 10:16 And taking them up in His arms, He put His hands on them and blessed them.

 

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Turtle Power

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day for me.

I am trying to juggle working at two jobs while working around my hubby’s schedule and also taking care of him as he has been ill a lot lately.

My jobs require hours of standing and walking which has aggravated the pain in the damaged nerve in my foot and the arthritis in my hip. The almost constant physical activity is a heavy drain on my limited energy resources. My house is a mess because I am too tired and in too much pain to clean it.

I am in pain, exhausted and stressed.

And then to top it off, yesterday I had an appointment with a lawyer (at his request) to discuss how to protect my interest in my lawful share of my ex-husband’s pension payments (25 years of supporting him and his career should be worth something). My ex has not been honourable in his dealings with me and this has forced me into seeking legal counsel.

After sitting in the lawyer’s office for an hour, re-hashing information that he has had for some time now, he decides that, in fact, he doesn’t think that he can help me after all – and then he tells me that I owe him $400!!!

I left the office feeling completely drained and defeated and fed up with dealing with people and the wickedness in this world.

I envied the turtle’s ability to pull in it’s head and feet and hide inside it’s protective shell. I felt like I just wanted to withdraw from the world and it’s many problems, curl up into a little ball and hibernate until Jesus comes again.

But the reality is that I can’t do that. Life, and all it’s challenges, won’t come to a standstill just because I am feeling over-whelmed.

Since I am not a turtle and I can’t withdraw into a physical protective shell, I sought out my Heavenly Father and covered myself in a spiritual shell of His grace, love and protection – I crawled into the arms of the One who loves me most. I gave Him my stress, my pain and my fatigue.

And I am feeling “lighter” today.

Thank you Abba.

Psa 59:16 But I will sing of Your power; yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy in the morning; for You have been my strong tower and hiding-place in the day of my trouble.