The Seven Year Itch?

Mar 10:8 And the two will become one flesh; so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Mar 10:9 Let not that which has been joined together by God be parted by man.

According to Wikipedia, “the seven-year itch is a psychological term that suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage. The phrase was first used to describe an inclination to become unfaithful after seven years of marriage in the play The Seven Year Itch by George Axelrod, and gained popularity following the 1955 film adaptation starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell.”

This summer we celebrate seven years of marriage. Like most (all?) marriages, it has not always been smooth sailing.

We have had to deal with the personal baggage that came with each of our previous long-term but unsuccessful marriages. I would like to say that I have put all that stinking garbage behind me but the old insecurities and the fear of being rejected – again – continue to pop their ugly heads back up every once in a while. I know that hubby has his share of insecurities too. We work at over-coming these issues by talking about them and by telling, and showing, one another just how very much we love one another.

We both continue to struggle with the effects of chronic illness – specifically pain, fatigue and mental stress. Since we both suffer chronic pain, we can readily empathize with one another. We treat one another with concern and compassion and look for ways to comfort one another. This can be challenging when we are both unwell at the same time. It can also get very frustrating when the symptoms seem to drag on day after day. This is when we must work on exercising our patience along with our compassion.

We each have adult children from our previous marriages. Our children have brought their own respective baggage into our marriage. Since Paul and I love one another, we have also chosen to love one another’s families. This has been a REAL challenge at times, especially since our parenting styles were, and are, very different. Since our children are adults (chronologically anyways – lol), ‘parenting’ takes on a whole new dimension which often feels like we can only use the  ‘stand back and watch the accident happen’ method of parenting. Our children’s issues and behaviours have often caused stress in our marriage. At such times, I need to remind myself of what is most important – my relationship with my husband, rather than the foibles of our kids. After all, God did say:

Mat 19:6 Then let not that which has been joined by God be parted by man. (Insert children, parents and in-laws).

We also continue to struggle with financial constraints. Starting lives over from scratch, legal financial obligations, health issues affecting work ability, and yes, even some unwise expenditures, have all contributed to some difficult and lean times. But one of the reasons that I love my hubby is that he has NEVER made me feel like I am a financial burden when I have not been able to contribute to the household finances. Rather, he has often felt badly that he has not been able to provide me with the kind of lifestyle he wants to give me. During the lean and challenging times, we focus on the things that are really important in life, like our love for one another.

Challenges have also arisen in the way in which each of us approaches our day-to-day activities and household chores. I am creative and love decorating my home. My hubby can never quite ‘visualize’ my ideas, especially if it involves second-hand furniture.(LOL) I am also analytical, detail aware, practical and love to  be organized. Frustratingly for me at times, my hubby does not always share these ‘wonderful’ qualities. He definitely does not approach housework and washing dishes “my way”. I have learned to be grateful for the fact that he does those chores at all – and usually with no complaint.

While we are kindred spirits in many areas, I don’t always like the same kinds of movies and programs that he likes to watch. We live in a small, 1 level home, so when he is watching something that bothers me, we employ the use of the A.P.M.H. – which is the ‘Apparatus for the Preservation of Marital Harmony’ a.k.a the wireless headphones. Every home should have a least 1 pair of these!

Even with all the challenges our marriage has faced in the past seven years, I am very thankful that we have only ever had one major blow-up, and that happened in our ‘early years’ of marriage.

Although the years have not always been easy, we have been so very blessed to have one another. We are truly one another’s best friend, soul-mate, kindred spirit and lover. Because we both had difficult first marriages, we greatly appreciate, and choose to focus on, all the good qualities we each have. And we count our many blessings every day. We also laugh – A LOT – both at each other and ourselves. Loving humour can smooth over a multitude of flaws.

I have said it before, and I will say it again, my hubby Paul has been an answer to prayer and every day “I thank my God in remembrance of him”.

Life since marrying Paul has been the happiest time of my life. I can’t imagine living without him. I pray for ‘seven times seventy’ more years with him.

Son 1:2 Let him give me the kisses of his mouth: for his love is better than wine. 




The Bad Guys Win??

Rom 16:20 And the God of peace will be crushing Satan under your feet before long.

(Warning – Spoiler Alert for Avengers; Infinity War movie)

While my hubby and I share a lot of common interests, our taste in movies can be quite different. I think that my guy is sweet, sensitive and fairly mild-mannered, so I am always puzzled by the fact that he LOVES action movies filled with explosions, gunfire, and martial arts fighting. When I have questioned him about it he has answered that he likes the movies where the good guys kick bad guys’ butt – where good triumphs over evil.

He recently went to the cinema with his kids to watch the new Avengers movie, “Avengers; Infinity War” and received a bit of a shock when at the end of the movie – the bad guys won!!

With the way that evil is growing in the world and the way that the entertainment industry panders to violent society, I will not be surprised to see more and more movies and tv shows starting to show the bad guys winning over the good guys – evil triumphing over good.

So I am very glad that I know the truth that no matter how bad things get in this world, it is only for a time and then there will be a stop to it and then finally goodness will prevail over evil – once and for all!

Rev 12:12 Be glad then, O heavens, and you who are in them. But there is trouble for the earth and the sea: because the Evil One has come down to you, being very angry, having the knowledge that he has but a short time.

Rev 20:10 And the Evil One who put them in error was sent down into the sea of ever-burning fire, where the beast and the false prophet are, and their punishment will go on day and night for ever and ever.

Rev 17:14 These will make war against the Lamb, and the Lamb will overcome them, because he is the Lord of lords and King of kings; and those who are with him are named, marked out, and true.

Joh 16:33 I [Jesus] have said all these things to you so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble: but take heart! I have overcome the world.

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1Co 15:57 But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.





A Sacrifice of Praise

There have been many times in my life when I wished that I had the talent to write beautiful psalms like King David did. This evening was one of those times.

Summer evenings are my favourite time and since my hubby was away for the evening, I decided to go for a bike ride around my ‘hood. Now my idea of a good bike ride is travelling just slightly faster than a quick walking pace – so basically, a casual stroll on 2 wheels.

I love the mellow light and the cool freshness of the air during summer evenings. Life seems more restful and peaceful. I love the golden glow of the setting sun as it highlights the tops of the trees.

My neighbourhood and the country road out to the highway are thickly lined with verdant trees and plants in every shape and size and hue of green (my favourite colour) from lime to emerald.

The mild evening air is heavenly scented with the sweet but light perfume of flowering shrubs and trees.

And the air is filled with the sounds of birds – robins, wrens, flycatchers and wood thrushes –  singing their evening choruses.

Life feels very sweet at such times and I thank God for these moments.

As I was offering up my thanksgiving unto God for the beauty of the evening, and wishing that I could write a psalm for Him, I remembered the following chorus I used to sing at fellowship gatherings:

We bring the sacrifice of praise
Into the house of the Lord.
We bring the sacrifice of praise
Into the house of the Lord.

And we offer up to You
The sacrifices of thanksgiving;
And we offer up to You
The sacrifices of joy


I don’t know if the neighbours appreciated my singing, but I think my Heavenly Father did.