When Healing Doesn’t Come

Rom 8:25 But if we have hope for that which we see not, then we will be able to go on waiting for it. (BBE)

As a former nurse, I have seen much suffering. As well my own sufferings (fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, arthritis, cancer, panic attacks), many of my loved ones also suffer. So the subject of healing is one that is near and dear to my heart.

While I love God and believe in His Word, there are a number of topics on which I am not quite clear, and healing is one of them. I have done extensive study on the subject and have put everything that I have learned into practice. I have watched Christian healing teaching videos over and over. I have read and re-read many books on the subject. I have rebuked symptoms and spoken healing scriptures over and over again. I have prayed in tongues and I have laid hands on the sick. I have believed for healing with everything that is within me.

So I must confess to some (ok – a lot) of bewilderment when healing does not manifest itself in either my own body or that of my loved ones.

When it came to the issue of my own healing – or NOT healing, as it were, I came to a place in my faith life wherein I had an important choice to make. I could either get angry and frustrated with God, which would damage my relationship with Him, or I could stop struggling and just accept what was (and is) and leave it in God’s hands. I confess that this is much harder for me to do when it is a dear loved one suffering – I feel so helpless.

My relationship with God is more important to me than my own healing, so I have chosen to try to be more aceepting and peaceful about my situation. I also try to remember a very wise statement my mother once made concerning her own struggle with suffering. She told me that she has chosen to believe that God’s Word is true so that when His Word says: “1Pe 2:24 He took our sins on himself, giving his body to be nailed on the tree, so that we, being dead to sin, might have a new life in righteousness, and by his wounds we have been made well.” (BBE) she believes that she is healed, even if it means that she won’t manifest it until Jesus comes again.

Rom 8:21 That all living things will be made free from the power of death and will have a part with the free children of God in glory.
Rom 8:22 For we are conscious that all living things are weeping and sorrowing in pain together till now.
Rom 8:23 And not only so, but we who have the first fruits of the Spirit, even we have sorrow in our minds, waiting for the time when we will take our place as sons, that is, the salvation of our bodies.

On my rough days, and when loved ones are suffering, I try to remind myself that the present suffering is nothing compared to the glory that awaits us in Heaven and that having patience and holding fast to faith is earning us great rewards and crowns of glory.

Rom 8:18 I am of the opinion that there is no comparison between the pain of this present time and the glory which we will see in the future. (BBE)

Rom 8:25 But if we have hope for that which we see not, then we will be able to go on waiting for it. (BBE)

Rev 2:10 Have no fear of the things which you will have to undergo:… Be true till death, and I will give you the crown of life. (BBE)

If you or a loved one are suffering and awaiting healing, I pray that God will fill you with faith, hope, comfort, and peace. I also pray for your healing and deliverance, in the name of Jesus.




Toilet Paper

Working in the kitchen after women’s fellowship, I tried to grab some paper towel from the industrial holder to dry my hands. The paper towel was so thin that it just disintegrated when my wet hands touched it and I couldn’t pull any of it out of the holder. Aargh!

This led me to think about the battles with certain kinds of toilet paper. Don’t you just hate the stuff that’s provided in public bathrooms?? It is either so stiff that it could be used to print a newspaper or so thin and flimsy that you can blow a hole through it with one little puff!

On the other end of the spectrum is the toilet paper that is so thick and plush that it is like using a velour towel. Unfortunately, this trendy paper for tender tushies comes with its own set of problems. Although it is soft, if you need to do anything more than just a gentle pat-pat you end up with an easily disintegrating pile of white fluff that gets stuck in unmentionable areas! I have also discovered through research into septic tank maintenance (not an after dinner read) that this type of toilet paper does not break down properly in the septic tank and can therefore cause clogging problems – something to be avoided at all costs!

You are probably wondering where on earth am I going with this?? You can blame God for giving me a brain that thinks up weird spiritual analogies. What can I say – it’s a gift!?? LOL

I was thinking that our faith and/or spiritual lives can be like toilet paper. If our faith walk is stiff and difficult to bend like some of the public bathroom paper, we can be spiritually biased, unbending, unyielding and unkind to people who may be in difficult or sensitive situations.

If our faith is as thin and flimsy as some toilet paper, any time a stiff wind in the form of a difficulty or challenge presents itself in our lives, it can blow a hole right through our faith leaving us without the protection that we need.

Faith that is like the “kitteny-soft” toilet tissue that is made of thick but loosely compacted fibres may feel good at first, but come a time of trial or testing when that faith really needs to be strong and solid, it just falls apart leaving you trying to pick up all the pieces. When we only cling to the parts of our faith system that make us “feel good” or “comfortable” then we are at risk of clogging up our spiritual tank.

It’s kind of like Goldilocks searching for that certain something that is “just right”. When we shop for toilet paper, we need to look for something that is strong yet gentle. Our faith walk needs to be the same way – strong enough to withstand life’s messes that are bound to come along, yet gentle enough to allow for compassion, forgiveness, kindness and love towards ourselves and others.

There – betcha never thought that t.p. and faith had anything in common! LOL



I remember a line from a tv show that goes something like this: “when you least expect it, expect it!” Well. I was in no way expecting the earth to open up beneath my feet after I got to work this morning. Just as son as I got into the office the manager set me down and told me that she was terminating my employment! WHAM! No prior notice, no reasons given and don’t forget to  pay for all those clothes we made you buy so that you could work in our store. Give us your keys and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. WHAM WHAM! I had obviously been accused of something and judge and jury had come up with the verdict without giving me any representation and a chance to defend myself.

While I am a Christian, I am also an imperfect human in this world. I make mistakes, I get hurt, angry, frustrated and upset. I do my best to conduct myself as to be pleasing unto the Lord and in a fashion that gives God the glory. I do confess that sometimes my mouth forgets that it is part of a consecrated body and it says things it shouldn’t. If I realize that I have made a mistake, I do my best to apologize and make amends.

Today, I am very weary of the evil world and it’s wicked ways. Today, I feel like becoming a monkish hermit and going to find a cave to live in (as long as it has indoor plumbing and hot running water – lol) My Mom and I both agreed today that there are some days where you just feel like falling on your knees pleading “come, Jesus, come” today.

However, I may be down at this moment , but I am not out because He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world.

“DEar God, help me to rise above in triumph over these moments of WHAM that shake me to my core. Fill me with you spirit of peace, love and joy so that I may be a blessing for your kingdom”. Amen

Pushing Through Barkin’ Dawgs

My former husband was a Natural Resources Technician. One of his jobs was timber cruising – walking through large areas of woodland designated as potential logging operations and measuring, assessing and marking trees that could be harvested. This job required walking many kilometers over and through a wide range of terrain.

One of his crew members was a fellow in his 60’s (!) who had been doing that type of work for many years. At the end of one particularly long and difficult day, the fellow wearily sat down and stated “my dawgs are barkin’ and my birds are chirpin'”. It was his quaint way of saying that his legs and feet were killing him.

In a number of previous posts, I have shared my struggle with chronic pain, fatigue, and mental health issues. Some days the symptoms are just nagging shadows but on other days they are like roaring lions. I have recently started working again at a job that requires me to be on my feet all day. After my first day, I hobbled home on legs and feet that were not simply “barkin’ and chirping” but  “howlin’  and screachin’! When I got home, all I could do was soak my legs and feet and take pain meds and sit on the couch. The next day, I had to do it all over again! It has now been 3 weeks and I wish that I could say that the pain has gone away, but it hasn’t – although it has lessened somewhat.

Maybe you are asking “why are you doing something that causes you pain??” I do it because I am reaping benefits that are important to me. Working allows me to get out of my small apartment, socialize with a wide variety of people, earn some “mad money”, dress up in fun clothes, and have a sense of purpose. It also challenges me to push through difficult situations.

I think that “pushing through” is often a large part of our lives – both worldly and spiritual. I also think that it is the “pushing through” which develops and strengthens our character and our faith. When difficult and/or painful things occur in our lives, we can’t just lay down, roll over and play dead hoping that someone else will make it all go away. We have an enemy who will always being throwing fiery curve balls at us in an attempt to destroy us. He wants us to just roll over and play dead; after all, a dead body does not make a very good witness to life! And Jesus came that we might have life!

Joh 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Joh 20:31 But these are written so that you might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you might have life in His name.

The Bible is filled with the true stories of people who had to “push through” difficult times in order to obtain something better. DAvid had to push through fear and physical hardships before he was able to take his place as the King of Israel. Esther had to push through fears of punishment and death in order to plead the case of the Israelites before the King. The apostle Paul relates a long list of things that he experienced, endured and had to push through.

2Co 11:23-28  Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as beside myself,) I am more! I have been in labors more abundantly, in stripes above measure, in prisons more, in deaths many times.  Five times from the Jews I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked. I have spent a night and a day in the deep. I have been in travels often; in dangers from waters; in dangers from robbers; in dangers from my race; in dangers from the heathen; in dangers in the city; in dangers in the wilderness; in dangers on the sea; in dangers among false brothers.
I have been in hardship and toil; often in watchings; in hunger and thirst; often in fastings; in cold and nakedness; besides the things outside conspiring against me daily, the care of all the churches.

Our ultimate example for pushing through is found in the person of Jesus Christ. In the Garden of Gethsemane we see him pushing through his fear of the knowledge of what terrible thing was going to happen to him.

Mat 26:38 Then He said to them, My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Wait here and watch with Me.
Mat 26:39 And He went a little further and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.

Long distance runners know that they have to push through the burning in their lungs before they will get their “second wind” and they must push through the burning in their legs to cross the finish line. Oftentimes, before we can appreciate and enjoy life, or obtain answer to prayer, we need to push through difficult circumstances. We need to keep putting one foot in front of the other in order to reach our break through.

Jesus pushed through fear, rejection, humiliation, torture and death so that we might have forgiveness of our sins and a sure hope of eternal life.

Heb 12:2 looking to Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right of the throne of God.

I encourage and exhort you to keep pushing through the hard, painful and difficult things in your life. Seek God’s help and trust in Him to bring you through. You will come out a winner!

Heb 12:1 Therefore since we also are surrounded with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,


Correction Notice

In yesterday’s post, “Sad News”, I wrote about how my friend inspires me by her walk of faith in a very difficult time. I wanted her to know that I had honoured her so I sent her a copy of the post. She emailed me back and thanked me but she did something else – she corrected me!

I had written that she was losing her battle with cancer, and she, justifiably, took exception to that remark. You see, she is not willing to accept and confess that she is losing. Despite any worldly evidence to the contrary, she is continuing to remain hopeful and have faith believing for her healing.

Surely that is the very definition of faith!

Heb 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Eph 6:13 Therefore take to yourselves the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Having done all to stand in faith for her healing, she continues to stand in faith.

And even in her correction she continues to teach and inspire!

Luk 6:45  A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth the good. …For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

I confess that I stand humbly and suitably corrected.

Please join me in prayer for her healing.

Jas 5:16 Confess faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous one avails much.




Sad News

Today, I received some sad news and I can think of no clever title and no witty thing to say for this post. Today, a friend sent me an email telling me that she is losing her battle with cancer – she is now on palliative care.

I long to put my arms around her and comfort her, but she lives far away.

We only knew each other for a short period of time, but she made a big impression upon me. It is strange, since we are two VERY different people but somehow, we managed to connect. I met her through a Christian Singles group at church.

When she found out that I was newly diagnosed with cancer, she seemed to take me under her wing. She had had her own battle with cancer and she wanted to make sure that I was living as healthily as possible to help combat the disease. To that end, she would regularly bring me gifts of fresh fruit, nuts and nutritional advice. She was born and raised in Hong Kong, so I was also introduced to some aspects of Chinese medicine.

We also shared a love of nature and so I would plan nature hikes for us to go on together. She would always bring some healthy snacks to share. And of course, we both had our cameras!

Her generosity of spirit was truly manifested when she invited me to go on a holiday to Florida with her and a friend. I was not able to work at the time and so I had very little money. She told me that if I could come up with the cost of the airfare, she would cover the rest of the expenses. And so she did and so we went.

I had a wonderful time with her! We went to Sea World, Epcot, Busch Gardens, Arabian Nights, Bok Tower Gardens, and had many small adventures in-between. She even took us shopping to a large Asian grocery store and then prepared a wonderful, authentic Chinese meal for us! I will always treasure the memories of that trip.

Shortly afterwards, life led me to move very far away but we kept in touch with emails and sharing beautiful photos of nature.

Not long after I had moved, I found out that she was once again battling cancer. She has been battling it for the past 3 years. And yet she still continues to minister to me! Her faith in God, her hope, her courage, and her joy, even in this difficult time, inspire me. She has not walked away from God in bitterness and anger. She diligently seeks Him every day. She finds comfort, peace, strength, courage and hope when she reads God’s Word. She acknowledges that God is walking with her through this trial.

Every day, she does her best to look for things for which to be thankful. Today, she told me that she was thankful for the nurses who come to her home to empty her drainage bag. She was thankful that she was able to sleep a bit better due to a decrease in abdominal pressure. She expressed thankfulness at being able to get out to vote in an important provincial election. She was even thankful that although the activity caused her to have pain in her legs, she was glad that she could get out to enjoy some of the Spring weather.

How can you not help but be inspired by someone like that!?

I believe that she is the kind of person to whom God will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”.

It is easy to be inspirational when everything is rosy, it is entirely another matter to be able to inspire while you are going through a fiery furnace.

May we all aspire to inspire.