“I’m dazed and confused, hanging on be a thread
I’m being abused, I’d be better off dead
I can’t stand this teasing, I’m starting to crack
You’re out to get me, you’re on the right track”
The above lyrics are from a blues-rock song in 1967, written and performed by Jake Holmes. The rock group Led Zeppelin re-did the song on their 1969 debut album.
While I don’t feel that I would be “better off dead”, I must confess to feeling somewhat “dazed and confused” myself lately.
This week I developed inflammation in both of the sacroiliac joints in my lower back. This has caused a literal “pain in the a**”! I am hobbling around like an old lady and groaning like an arthritic hound dog. Hot and cold flashes are my companions as I alternate between ice packs and heating pads. Anti-inflammatories and muscles relaxants induce a definite couch potato demeanor. And my new fashion accessory is a supportive, magnetic back brace – which looks ever so elegant with my ankle socks and bathrobe!
This literal pain in the butt has caused me to miss: leading one ladies’ fellowship and participating in another, cancel my son and family’s visit (which was to be our Christmas visit), and give up a shift at work at a time when we really need the extra money!
This is on top of having to deal with increased fatigue, lethargy, depression and anxiety due to the change in seasons and my suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder.
AND THEN – my poor, sweet hubby has been suffering from a migraine for the past three days! He has used up his allotment of medication and can’t get a renewal for at least 2 weeks!
He has had so many migraines this year that he has used up all his sick days and vacation time so that when he has to take a sick day now, he is losing a day’s pay. This is not nice at any time of year but especially not at Christmas.
So – yes, I am feeling “dazed and confused, abused and hanging by a thread” at times.
When I am feeling like that, I turn to the only place and person that I know to turn to – my Heavenly Father. While I absolutely believe that He does not send me these trials, I confess to wondering why I have to keep going through them and why deliverance and healing do not seem to be forthcoming.
Like David in the Psalms, I pour out my questions, my fears and my frustrations to God.
“O Lord, all my longing is known to you; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart throbs, my strength fails me; as for the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.” ~Psalm 38:9-10 (NRSV).
Psa 69:1 To the Chief Musician. Concerning the Lilies. A Psalm of David. Save me, O God! for the waters have come in on my soul.
Psa 69:2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.
Psa 69:3 I am weary from my crying; my throat is dried; my eyes fail while I wait for my God.
I beseech, entreat and implore Him to help us.
Psa 118:25 Save now, I beseech You, O Jehovah; O Jehovah, I beseech You,…
I remind Him of His promises.
2Co 1:20 For all the promises of God in Him are yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God by us.
And then I purposefully take stock of all the blessings that I do have and I thank God for them. I also purposefully look to see little blessings in every day – like the handsome bluejay at the bird feeder yesterday and the cute red-breasted nuthatch today. Or the unusually mild temperatures we have been enjoying this November along with the mellow, golden sunlight.
Php 4:8 Finally, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think on these things.
I also try to be grateful for the peace and quiet that is my environment and be thankful that I don’t really have anyone making any pressing demands on my limited energies.
Php 4:7 And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
In the end, the truth of it is that when the struggles of this life make me feel dazed and confused, there is only one place to which I can turn – Heaven, and only one person to whom I can turn – God – in the name of His son, Jesus Christ. Without them, where would there be any hope?
Psa 118:14 Jehovah is my strength and song, and He is my salvation.
2Th 2:16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God, even our Father, who has loved us and has given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace,
2Th 2:17 comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work…