I’ll Never

Like most people, I have had dreams of things that I would have liked to accomplish and places that I wanted to go.

I have always LOVED to dance and dreamed about becoming a professional dancer. Although I was physically fit, I was NOT flexible. It used to frustrate me when my sisters were able to put their feet behind their heads but I had to struggle to bend down to touch my toes!

My Dad was very involved with track and field and I wanted to be just like him so I practiced running and high jump. I could run fast for short distances and even won a few ribbons, but I could never seem to excel in long-distance running – I just couldn’t get the breathing right and I had no endurance.

I love to sing and perform and was involved in many public and high school productions as well as choirs. I dreamed of becoming a famous actress or singer. Unfortunately, I guess my talent(?) in either of those areas was not enough to propel me to stardom.

In my later teens, I fell in love with photography and along with my love of nature and being outdoors, I dreamed of becoming a famous environmentalist and a wild-life photographer for National Geographic Magazine. But, I fell in love and sacrificed my  dreams for the sake of someone else’s.

I have always loved fashion and enjoyed sewing my own clothes and as a young adult I dreamed of becoming a fashion designer. This is difficult to do when you live in a very small town in Northern Ontario where the “uniform” of the general populace was jeans and sweatshirts or flannel shirts – and the ubiquitous ball cap! “Haute Couture” hunter’s orange or camouflage! LOL

When I became a parent, I loved spending time with my sons reading books, singing songs, baking, making crafts and teaching. I became a volunteer teaching assistant at my sons’ public schools and even did some tutoring in high school. I also worked as a Family Literacy Advocate and organized and implemented programs that encouraged reading in the family. From that experience, I developed my own business as a children’s entertainer. These activities led me to dream of becoming a professional educational children’s entertainer. Unfortunately, health and personal issues interfered with that dream.

As I approached my late 30’s and early 40’s, I realized that I had a great heart’s desire to teach the word of God and help people. I actively went into women’s ministry in my church but I wanted to reach out to the general populace in a new, non-threatening and welcoming manner. The HUGE dream of my heart was to become a minister and have a ministry like Joyce Meyers. As a method of outreach, I wanted to open a lovely tea shop which sold local handicrafts and to also offer craft classes.

I moved forward in faith and began buying all my equipment and supplies and looked for suitable locations. I also began taking online university courses to become a minister.

BUT – we have an enemy who is out to kill, to steal and to destroy and just as I was beginning to move forward with my dream – my marriage ended, I lost my home, and I found out that I had cancer. To say that my dream was crushed is an understatement!!

Nine years later, I am writing this blog post to tell you that NOT ONE of those dreams has come true! I’ll never be a famous dancer,  singer, actress or children’s entertainer. I’ll never be an Olympic athlete. I’ll never have my fashion designs paraded on the catwalks of Paris. I’ll never have my paintings hung in the Louvre. I’ll never have my photos featured in National Geographic. I’ll never have a ministry like Joyce Meyer’s. And I’ll probably never have a tea and craft shop.

But as I advance through my “middle ages” I have come to realize that I don’t really mind all that much that I’ll never become one of those dreams because I have come to know that, since I have accepted Jesus as my Saviour, there are more important things that “I”ll never” be either:

I’ll never lose my salvation.

1Pe 1:23 having been born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, through the living Word of God, and abiding forever.

Joh 6:37 All that the Father gives Me shall come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will in no way cast out.

Joh 17:12 While I was with them in the world, I kept them in Your name. Those that You have given Me I have kept, and none of them is lost

I’ll never have to experience the righteous wrath of God.

Rom 5:9 Much more then, being now justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him [Jesus]

I’ll never have to experience Hell.

Psa 86:13 For great is Your mercy toward me; and You have delivered my soul from the lowest hell.

Act 2:27 because You will not leave My soul in Hades, nor will You allow Your holy One to see corruption

I’ll never be rejected, forsaken or truly alone.

Mat 28:20 … And, behold, I [Jesus] am with you all the days until the end of the world. Amen.

Heb 13:5 … for He has said, “Not at all will I leave you, not at all will I forsake you, never!”

As Jesus said, “Joh 16:32 … And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.”

I’ll never be completely without hope.

Rom 5:5 And hope does not make us ashamed, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit given to us.

Col 1:27 For to them God would make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the nations, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory,

Heb 6:19 which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast,…

I’ll never have to fear death.

Rev 21:4 … And there will be no more death

And finally, when Jesus comes again, I will begin my new life in my new body and I’ll never have to live with pain, fatigue or sorrow again! Praise God!

Rev 21:4 And God will wipe away all tears from their eyes. And there will be no more death, nor mourning, nor crying out, nor will there be any more pain; for the first things passed away.

HALLELUJAH!

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5 thoughts on “I’ll Never

  1. BelleUnruh says:

    I can relate to this post because my life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. My one big dream did come true though; I wanted to be a mother. I can tell you loved that part of your life. I went to university when I was 45, but I had emotional/mental problems so I had to quit. I wanted to be an archivist in a museum or library.

    My daughters needed me to babysit their children so I did this for about 15 years. It was wonderful, but harder when you are older. Then the grandchildren grew up and there I was… lonely with nothing to do but sit and feel sorry for myself. I see you like Joyce Meyer; she has helped me more than any other Christian on earth! Therapy, God and Joyce Meyer got me out of my depression.

    Well, what did Paul say, “What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.”

    I no longer wish I hadn’t suffered in this life. I believe my suffering made me look to God. When I was a wild teenager, I wanted so much to be a Christian. But our church had strict rules and I thought I could never be good enough. Thank God, I found out that isn’t how it works.

    Like

    • Hi Belle, thank you for reading my blog and for taking the time to comment. I have also battled mental health issues. I too belonged to a very legalistic church and felt like I was never good enough. And I too thank God that I have been delivered from that bondage. I now enjoy living in the freedom I have in Christ Jesus! I just want to say that I don’t believe that God gave me all the suffering but I do believe that I learned to look to Him for truth, comfort and strength during those times and that my faith has been strengthened because of it. May God bless you :).

      Liked by 1 person

  2. BelleUnruh says:

    I couldn’t find a button to follow you.

    Like

  3. BelleUnruh says:

    I found it this morning. My tablet must have been giving me troubles. I couldn’t see your followers either yesterday. Thanks.

    Like

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